Pugnamedyoda (original poster new member #87285) posted at 3:42 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2026
Hello everyone,
Here's another Update:
He still lied to me. He booked luxery suites for escorts, 600 dollars for a room for "only two hours" with them. Doesn't make sense to me.
When we went on trips he booked motel 6 for us. Never a luxury room.
4 more prostitutes, all of them overweight because he says they have "better bj skills". And even cheap ones, in their dirty rooms.
He says he's embarrassed about this. That's why he didn't tell me.
According to him "That's it now"
It's so much and every time something new comes up, I'm exactly where I was 3 weeks ago.
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 4:07 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2026
Did he come forward with this information on his own? Or did you have to discover it?
They make it impossible for us to believe that we now 'know everything' when new information resurfaces again.....and again.....and again, only after our investigating. I hope that isn't your case.
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 5:31 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2026
One thing is pretty clear to me:
He has been able to hide extreme expenses of his habit from you.
As part of even considering if this is salveageable I would demand total openness on his accounts. Everything from detailed listing of income on to what goes out of the accounts.
Would your life be better today if you could have – for example – paid 10k on your mortgage?
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
Pugnamedyoda (original poster new member #87285) posted at 5:33 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2026
@jb
I basically had to discover most of it.
Then he admitted to some things but always said "that's it now" while begging me to stay and work on this.
Yesterday I discovered another hotel booking, the 600 dollar room and another hotel booking that led him to admit to another escort. Then after me saying over and over again that I deserve the truth finally, after about 2 hours he admitted to 3 more. Cheap overweight ones that were in their dirty rooms and he came home to me after. All without condoms (oral sex).
He texted his sponsor from sexaholics program that he admitted to all of it now. It still could be that he's lying to himself. He want to his first therapy session still lying.
Pugnamedyoda (original poster new member #87285) posted at 6:23 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2026
@bigger
I added everything up and he spent 16600 dollars on escorts in the past 5 years.
Yes we could have renovated our bathroom better, made our garden nicer, we could have made the old swimming pool better instead of painting it with a cheap paint he decided on...anything.
We could have done blood tests on our dog that passed away suddenly. I always said there might be something wrong with our dog, but he never listened told me I worry too much about things. In fact he booked an air bnb and a two hour escort session for 1500 or more the day before our dog died suddenly out of nowhere. His mom put the money from trying to save him on her credit card that he pays off now every month.
In hindsight my intuition was always right and he manipulated me into thinking I worry too much and overthink everything.
He always told me we can't spend too much money so we always chose cheap options.
It's all super crazy, I feel like I don't even know who this person is.
